The tag line on the cover of this book is "Never walk away from another conflict again!" I don't know if this book will completely equip you to engage in successful confrontations but it is a good start. The authors break confrontations into discrete parts and explain what is happening in each part. They also provide models for each section. Patterson, et al., posit that you need to work on yourself first. This includes mastering your own stories . Then you "confront with safety" by finding out if there are gaps in the other person's motivation or ability to perform the task. Then you mutually agree on a plan of action. Throughout this process you are to stay focused on the problem at hand, and at the same time, flexible if something more urgent comes up.
Since I have done a fair amount of studying on customer service in libraries (including a little patron confrontation), I found that not a lot of what the authors put forth was new to me. I realize that the models are useful to many people. I also thought it very interesting how they broke down the components of a confrontation. What gave me the most to think about was mastering your own stories. I know that I anticipate what an outcome will be with very little knowledge. I often let that anticipation color the entire encounter and the encounter ends without a good resolution.
Patterson, et al., also point out the importance of good communication that is precise. I think that this is probably the one thing that gets in the way of smooth employee relationships and good public service. What do you think?
Crucial Confrontations was an insightful read. I liked the discussion about how there is always a temptation to tell ourselves stories about why people did what they did and that this can prejudice our response. It makes sense to stop and ask why a reasonable person act that way. The importance of picking the more critical issue to address also makes sense. Using the example of the movie “Groundhog Day”, the authors effectively drive home the point that unless the important behavior and issue is addressed, we may find ourselves reliving the same problems over and over again.
ReplyDeleteI also agree that as managers and leaders we do not so much “motivate” employees as help them identify or remember those reasons or interests that motivate them. As the authors recognize, they are not inventing anything new, rather they attempt to systematize a set of best practices employed by the most effective managers. As I read the book I remembered situations that I might have been able to handle better had I read the book earlier.